As women, sometimes our sex lives seem to just dry up and this can be a pretty depressing time for us gals. This is especially true when there doesn’t seem to be any straight reason for it. One day its there, then, poof! Gone. Just like that. The thing is, this is actually totally natural. Of course, its also totally annoying, but as women, we go through natural high and low periods of arousal and there will be many times throughout our lives when our sex drive just drops. In fact, it happened to me recently. I had to change my contraceptive pill and ended up with a period of almost four months straight, so as you can guess, sex was the last thing I felt like doing. But after a long period of frustration, I found some ways that helped me to get my sex drive back, and hopefully, they will work for you too.
What causes low sex drive in women?
Women’s sex drives naturally fluctuate over the years especially as we age. While hormonal changes play a large part in our sex drive, they are not the only things that affect it. These changes tend to flow with major life changes or disruptions. Things like periods and contraception, stress and fatigue, mood disorders or anxiety and the medications for these. Then there are relationship issues. A low sex drive tends to occur when there is a lack of communication, a lack of trust, or conflicts going on within the relationship. It can be hard to feel physically attracted to your partner when there are bigger issues taking place in the relationship.
So, how can I get my sex drive back?
There are all sorts of factors that can make a big difference. And the best thing is that many of these are things that we are able to work through and change without too much effort.
1. Try to determine what the cause could be
I know that I am starting out with a hard one, but being able to determine what could be causing your low sex drive is really the first step to helping you get it back. It’s possible that there are multiple factors that are affecting you but, if you are able to understand and work through them then you will likely see some big changes in a short amount of time.
2. If you have a partner, let them know what is going on
Being able to communicate with your partner when you aren’t feeling your best is extremely important especially when it comes to your sex drive. If you don’t, then you may end up in a case where both of you are frustrated and your partner may begin to think that they are the cause or the attraction is not there anymore. Talk openly and honestly and just let them know. That way you can work through it together and find ways to enjoy each other and make time for one another – sexual or not so that you can still feel connected. A problem shared is a problem halved. Cheesy? Yes, but its also true.
3. Remove the things that distract you… and the things that distract your partner!
It takes two to tango and sometimes there are things that your partner may be doing that are affecting your sex drive too. I am gonna take a shot in the dark here and say that I am not alone in feeling distracted by technology? And also that there are days when your partner’s technology and gadgets feel more important to them than you do? I know that the Little mermaid made it sound cool when she talked about having gizmos and gadgets aplenty but there is a time and place, and if you are struggling with your sex drive then the bedroom is not it! Keep those distractions to a minimum and set aside time for sex if you have to. Scheduling sex may sound lame, but making your pleasure a priority isn’t, and that is ultimately what scheduling it is all about.
4. Get down with your fine self
You may be thinking, “how is this going to help get my sex drive back?”, but the more orgasms you have the more orgasms you want right? And who is better at giving you orgasms than yourself?! Getting in tune with your body during times of low sex drive is one of the best ways to begin to enjoy and crave pleasure again. It can help you to reconnect with your body and get back in tune with your needs and wants from sex before you go back to getting it on with someone else.
5. Keep your body healthy and boost that self-esteem
Exercise has so many benefits and it is one of the best ways to boost your sex drive again. Not only does it help you sleep and ease fatigue and mood swings, it also releases those feel-good chemicals and boosts your self-esteem. And you guessed it, all of these play a large part in your sex drive. When you feel good about your body you are more likely to want to show it off to someone else too and enjoy it with them. If this is something that you struggle with, check out this guide to having great sex even when you are not feeling body confident. Of course, keeping healthy will also keep illnesses away so have more time for sexy fun! Check out some more natural ways to boost your libido here.
6. Be open-minded
If all else fails, then why not try something new in the bedroom? Perhaps consistency has made you a little bored, or the same old routine just doesn’t do it for you the way it used to. When you are in a long-term relationship it is really easy to fall into habits and, let’s be honest when it comes to sex, the same old position every day becomes pretty boring after a while. So mix it up, be spontaneous, do it in the kitchen! It doesn’t matter what it is, but try something new and see if this helps to bring back some excitement.
There are so many factors that can influence our libidos, but there are just as many ways to boost it too! It all comes down to understanding what it is that is causing an issue for you personally and finding the best way to resolve it. This may take some trial and error, but be patient. Your pleasure is so important and it is absolutely worth fighting for. Even if the only person you need to fight is yourself.