So you love your friend, but not in that way. Still, you wouldn’t mind having a little boudoir action every now and then. But wait a minute! Will this complicate things further? Should you have “the talk” with them before letting the 3rd glass of wine push you over the limit and encourage you to try to get it on? Will they want to start dating eventually? Hold your horses, missy! You don’t always have to end up dating someone you connected with sexually. Sometimes you can embark on a casual, no-strings attached relationship with just a few rules you need to discuss with your sex buddy first. Take a look at these super simple sex rules that will help you bang away, carefree.
What Exactly Is Friends With Benefits?
First things first, let’s define what friends with benefits really is. It’s definitely not just a one night stand you just discard after you’re done hitting the high notes. Sex with benefits is da bomb cause you get to hook up with your friend without having to do any the following:
- Take them on a date
- Waste money on gifts
- Waste money on fancy dinners
You can definitely spend extra on them if you want, but unlike actual dating, you’re not expected to. So when you have an itch, you have someone who’s more than willing to scratch it. Capisce?
How Does Friends With Benefits Work?
Friends with benefits is a temporary fix. To make it work, just remember these basic things.
- You’re horny, so you’re in it for the sex
- You don’t contact them unless it’s for sex
- Once you’re done, you have the right to leave if you don’t want to spend extra time with them.
Just so there’s no confusion, make sure you’re both in agreement ahead of time so you’re clear on what’s going to happen. The most important aspect of sex with benefits is to be 100% upfront, and you both have to commit to staying super respectful.
How To Have Friends With Benefits
There are several friends with benefits rules that you have to follow in order to not get tangled up in unwanted awkward situations, (unless we’re talking about sex!) The Obvious first one is:
- Don’t do this with an actual friend because you have an underlying emotional attachment to them, and this can get so messy fast. But Can Friends With Benefits Work?
Uh, yeah, they can, if you don’t do a few things that might get things complicated in the long run:
- Introducing them to your actual friends
He’s not Mr. Big and you’re not Carried Bradshaw. This is a wham, bam, thank you, ma’am kind of thing, if you know what I mean. As long as you understand that it’s just that, you’ll be just fine. Completely disregard this item though if you feel you and your sex buddy can hang out with friends and not complicate it eventually, but don’t be fooled just yet. It’s hard to stay detached and aloof when sex is involved!
The Pros And Cons Of Friends With Benefits
The benefits are simple. You get to get your socks rocked by someone you trust, but you feel protected because you just don’t want to date them. Ever:
- There’s no emotional attachment
- It’s just sex
The cons can be a real nightmare if you’re not sex-smart about your new steamy contract:
- Oxytocin could create an emotional attachment
- They might become a crazy stalker
- You might become a stalker yourself and end up pursuing someone who doesn’t want you.
To Pull It Off Immaculately, Here’s Some Friends With Benefits Advice
Think of them like commandments, and if you start thinking logically about how to pull it off like a Kamasutra goddess, you know that the number one rule of sex with benefits club is not to NOT talk about the club, but rather avoid falling in love, and all of these too:
- Thou shall not fall in love
- Thou shall not got on a date with a FWB
- Thou shall not get jealous when you see them with someone else
- Thou shall not be FWB with an actual friend
No one said it’d be easy. It’s tricky, but certainly not impossible if you keep it clean, detached, and are smart about handling your sex buddy. If anything, give it a shot, it might rock your world