Sex is weird. Sure, it’s a great stress reliever, confidence boosting, and downright fun activity to get down to, but you would be lying if you said that your body never got up to some funny business while doing the horizontal tango. There is bound to be an array of strange noises, tastes, and feelings all over that most definitely do not make the cut to some of TV’s steamiest scenes. That is totally understandable if you keep in mind that screen sex is almost always meant to be squeaky clean and artificially sexy, while real life sex, well, isn’t.
This doesn’t mean that a lot of the things you experience during sex, aside from pleasure itself, shouldn’t be talked about. In fact, while sex has slowly but surely been shedding its taboo status over the last decades, actual sexual health and education are still not being talked about enough for us women to confidently know what is normal and what isn’t, sometimes making us feel rather self-conscious about the most normal bodily reactions. This is why we bring you a list of six of the most embarrassing things to happen during sex, but that are actually totally normal, so that next time any of those happen, you can just roll with it and focus on what’s important: your own pleasure.
1) All sorts of wetness
Basic anatomic understanding lets us know that when it comes to sex, the wetter, the merrier. But that doesn’t stop a lot of women from feeling self-conscious about vaginal discharge, even when the first thing to understand here is that it’s completely normal. The vagina is one smart system that knows what it’s doing when it gets itself wet, and during sex, heavy discharge is nothing but a tool to make things glide more easily, so unless you have an untreated infection or some other abnormal condition, your discharge should be a natural part of your sex life.
Some women may secrete a thick, white type of fluid during moments of intense arousal, and others a clear, water-like one; no matter what they look like, these secretions work as natural lubricants and are a very good indicator of your level of sexual arousal, so don’t worry too much about it and rather embrace the feeling of your own body letting you know you’re having a good time.
2) Unexpected Pain
Experiencing discomfort in the form of pain or irritation in your vagina during sex can understandably be an issue for many women, especially when they feel embarrassed about feeling like they’re not able to provide a 10/10 sexual experience for either themselves or their partner.
While sometimes the causes of pain are purely anatomical and can be fixed by a simple and quick change of position, there can be other aspects that contribute to your body not feeling its best. Are you comfortable during sex? Are you properly lubricated? Is there something on your mind that keeps you from surrendering to pleasure? Some women keep any type of discomfort during sex to themselves for fear of ruining the experience but trust us when we tell you that the best thing you can do is talk to your partner and help them understand what you’re feeling in order to work around any glitches to get you to that good place. Besides, communication is sexy.
In an ideal world, we are all highly articulated sexual connoisseurs that can quickly and concisely communicate what we want in bed in a sexy, dirty way, and maturely give and receive feedback without misunderstanding what our lovers want. Sadly, that world is a bit far away for some, but that doesn’t mean it’s completely unapproachable.
Downright talking and giving directions can feel embarrassing for several reasons, be it shyness, inexperience, or the good ol’ not knowing what feels good, making you feel rather tongue-tied when you hear that eager “tell me what you want”, but there are two tricks here to help you properly get over any inhibitions: 1) think of it as dirty talk with an actual purpose; turning directions into a game can do wonders for reaching your peak if you add a bit of spice to it, like actually guiding your partner’s hands to where you want them and showing them how hard or slow to go, and 2) picture just how sexy all the confidence in knowing what you want will make you look in their eyes, and most importantly, in your own.
For as many articles you can find online filled with tips to improve your gag reflex, the truth is that shoving something down your throat is bound to meet some sort of resistance from your body. A gag reflex is nothing more than your body going “Wait, that’s too big! You might die!”, which is all very appreciated but decidedly not welcome when it comes to giving oral sex.
The embarrassing thing about gagging, aside from making you sound like you might throw up at any second, is that you might think it makes you look inexperienced or like you don’t get many chances to go down on someone when the truth is that your guy won’t really mind. You gagged a little, so what? The important thing here is to be patient with yourself, asking your partner to give you some breathing breaks, and not thrusting anything down your throat in a desire to prove to yourself, or anyone else, that you can take it.
Now, you can always practice with a banana or a cucumber if you really want to get rid of gagging, but just make sure no one catches you doing it. That would be embarrassing.
5) Not Getting There
Sometimes everything is perfect: you’re with someone you really want to be with, you get just the right amount foreplay, you’re feeling yourself in all your glory… but you don’t come. And then you start thinking, is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with them? How do I explain this? and sure, you can think the whole point of having sex is reaching a nice orgasm, but in reality, this mindset might pressure into getting there all the time, and guess what? Pressure is the #1 enemy of all orgasms out there.
Sex is a mental affair as much as it is a physical one, and when you dive into it with the pressure of having to enjoy it, your thoughts start to stray and you lose focus on all the nice sensations going on, keeping you from reaching and falling over the edge, so the business here lies in just enjoying the moment, even if, for some reason or another, it doesn’t end in orgasm. A lack of climax during sex is not uncommon at all, and while you should definitely look into it if it becomes regular or if you feel like your partner could be doing something more, you shouldn’t feel ashamed for it if you feel like you had a good time anyway.
6) General clumsiness
Let’s face it, we would never end counting all the embarrassing things that could and actually happen during sex. Weird faces, strange sounds coming out of your body, fumbling, accidental injuries, and even the occasional fart are all part of a healthy sex life, and there is no real secret to getting rid of any of them. All these things make us human and serve to remind our partners, and ourselves, that we are just as clumsy and over eager to have a good time as them.
So what if you look supremely unflattering in that position, or if you clucked your head looking for a condom, or if your vagina made that weird farting noise? Trust us when we say that whoever is lucky enough to be with you won’t remember those things above the amazing sex you’ll have if you quit taking things so seriously, embrace the entire experience and just confidently chase after pleasure together.
In any case, these are just a few of the most common embarrassing situations you could experience in bed, so comment below and share with us any of your own cringe-worthy episodes in the sex department. After all, you can’t deny that things like that are a million times funnier when you look back on them.