I’m going to let you in on a secret: great sex is not just for couples – it’s for single people, too. And when I say single, I mean single: completely solo, no friend with benefits, no one-night stands.
Google ‘spice up my sex life’ and you will probably think otherwise. It’s all ‘bondage for couples’, ‘new positions to try with your partner’ and relationship-related advice. For the sexually independent among us, it seems like we’re supposed to go without the spice.
Well, dust off the spice rack, ladies, because it’s time to get hot, hot, hot – partner or not. Here’s 10 mouth-wateringly spicy ways to keep your sex life hotter than a jalapeno:
Get Your Own Toybox
It may seem obvious that the single woman’s best friend is her vibrator, but it may be time for the buzzing bunny to hop back into its burrow for a bit whilst we go further afield.
Ladies, there’s a whole world of sex toys out there to play with and almost-all are adaptable for solo use. Clitoral pumps, nipple toys and Ben Wa balls are all affordable ways to add new sensations to your old routine.
Treat yourself to a pair of vibrating pants to get yourself warmed up before the ‘party of one’ begins. Or if you’re feeling flush, invest in your very own sex machine like this one from Adam and Eve.
Just maybe steer clear of bondage, unless you’re ready to get really acquainted with your flatmate, in case of an emergency.
Have a Movie Night
It used to be a shameful subject for women to talk about. But by now we all know (I hope) that porn is not just for men and that women are free to enjoy the same visual delights.
Instead of watching your usual quick porn video, set aside an hour or two of your day to really have a browse. Think of it like watching a normal-length film, except it’s several short movies. And there’s no popcorn*.
There’s plenty of women-orientated porn sites out there that are designed by women, for women, and that guarantee the willingness and safety of all featured actors, so that you can relax and just enjoy yourself.
*Maybe there is popcorn. We won’t judge.
Do Some ‘Bedtime’ Reading
Just like us wonderful women, porn comes in all shapes and sizes. It’s not just video. Check out the erotica section on women-friendly porn sites. For some of us, the combination of the written word and our imagination is far more sensual than a video.
Dressing up in lingerie or in a sexy costume isn’t just for your partner. It can help to put you in the right mood and let your inner sexiness show on the outside. It may feel a little silly at first but once you get all glammed up, it’s hard not to feel like anything less than a sex goddess.
Figure Out Your Fetish
Fetishes aren’t just for couples. Don’t wait until you have a partner to find out what you like, spend some time now exploring exactly what makes you tick. Use porn, erotica, sex shop websites and, of course, your own imagination!
There are some weird and wonderful fetishes out there and you never know what secret sexually preferences may be lurking deep inside of you. Check out this extensive list of fetishes to get the proverbial ball rolling.
Write 50 Shades of Your Own Imagination
Nobody knows what turns you on more than you do, so why not write your very own fantasy? Let your imagination run wild whilst you write out your favorite fantasies.
There’s no need to worry about grammar mistakes or plot holes as this is just for you. Of course, if you’re particularly proud of your work then you may want to share it! You could be the next E. L. James and not even know it.
Even James Joyce wrote his own erotica – and they are definitely not for the faint of heart… or stomach.
Tease Yourself with Tantric
Why not get sexual and spiritual all at the same time? Tantric sex is a great way to feel connected with yourself and your body, whilst having a whole lot of fun.
Check out this guide to tantric masturbation for women.
Go on a Hot Date – with Yourself
If you need a little romance to get you in the mood then it may be time for your very own date night. Go through the whole process just as you would if you were meeting a real date: get showered, get shaved, get sexy. This is all about feeling good about yourself for yourself.
Take yourself out for dinner or to a movie, maybe have a quick drink in a bar before heading home for ‘coffee’. Throughout the date remind yourself that you’re going to get ‘lucky’; it’ll start getting you in the mood for later.
It’s a date you definitely won’t regret in the morning!
Flirt with the Camera
If you’re feeling and looking good and want others to know about it, you could consider posting some sexy photos online. There’s plenty of anonymous websites for doing so – there’s even dozens of dedicated communities on Reddit.
Before you even begin taking photos, however, research what you’re doing. Plenty of people have posted photos only to regret doing so later. Never show your face and always assume your photos will be shared beyond your control.
Remember: make sure you are safe, your identity is secret, and you are sure you want to post.
Have an Afternoon Delight
Rampant sex sessions are not reserved for the partnered-up. Put aside an afternoon and then put yourself to bed and to work. There’s nothing like a few hours of multiple orgasms to make the world seem right again.
They say the most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself and we think that extends to your own sexually relationship with yourself, too. Whether you’re looking for love or happily single, there’s no reason you should be missing out on mind-blowing orgasms and steamy sessions.
So, change the bed sheets, open a private browser, and bring out the sex toys; may spicy solo sex be a secret no longer.